Aggy died five years ago today.
Such a sweet and gentle soul who never rose to lofty heights in the sport
chosen for her
Hers was not a career of high scores, trophies and trials won
She didn’t want that.
It was not in her nature even though her breeding said she should excel.
She didn’t see the sense in it.
She did see sense in love, hugs, play and snuggles. The highlight of her day was cuddles on the sofa between myself and my husband. In between us so that she could sniff, touch his hair, be near him. She adored him.
He only saw our rottie, Ursa.
Her and I had history. I was the one who insisted she train,
keep working in the sport, live up to what was expected of her. 
Even when she let me know without any doubt how she felt.
She held a grudge in this, she always remembered and didn’t think I should forget either.
Aggy loved the strong, handsome type of guy.
And that would be Kado, the big, gentle Cane Corso around the corner.
To go over to Kado’s home, hang out, play in his backyard,
race around the pond was so much enjoyment for her.
Even then, she got shortchanged.
Kado had eyes only for Ursa.
She would watch them play, Kado going into the pond,
retrieving a toy then coming out and giving it to Ursa. They’d play with it and then they would do it all over again.
Aggy would try and attract his attention, get him to notice her.
He never did that I saw.
In this, she never held a grudge or blamed Ursa.
They were best friends, confidants, kennel mates, soulmates. 
Five years ago on this day, there was no hope, no cure,
no medication to reverse the outcome.
Aggy was true to her nature, her way of doing things,
no matter what others thought how she should act.
Her attitude that day as my husband tried to say goodbye,
spend time with her alone, you could see her saying,
“You didn’t have time for me when I wanted you too, forget it now!” 
And then with her characteristic determination, she headed for the truck.
Her jaw set, her focus clear. I could hear her say,
“Lets get this over with before I change my mind”.
Sitting in the back of the truck, my husband driving,
her focus, I believe was on what was to come.
She sat, watched the countryside past.
I cried, reached back and tried to comfort her.
She paid no attention. 
When the time came, she was her dear sweet, gentle, brave, stoic self.
I sobbed. She kept herself in control. No emotion.
Tough.
Just as the death sentence took over, she looked up to the sky.
Watching something high over my shoulder.
I was afraid to look back, to see what she was seeing.
A quiet calmness came over her, her rigidity was gone.
She was gone.
I brought her collar home.
Ursa held her head up, her neck outstretched waiting for me to put it on her.
I did. I sobbed and held her close.
We mourned our friend, our loved one together.
Aggy, you taught me much.
You taught me to stick to my beliefs
Follow my heart despite all those who believe they know what is best for me
Never waver, never lose hope
Speak your mind, no matter the consequences, you will survive
And above all,
Love unconditionally
Aggy, sweet Aggy
I love you, love you still,
Unconditionally.
~ Patrice
© Patrice Clarkson – 2018
